Nobody sleeps through the night

Even before you had a baby, you woke up about every 90 minutes during the night. The most likely reason you don’t remember this is that, after a quick check on your surroundings, you fell right back to sleep. (The second most likely reason you don’t remember is that it’s been so long since you actually had a good night of sleep).

Adults, children, and babies all wake up several times per night. There are five levels of sleep, all of which are required for our body and brain to function properly. We cycle between the four stages of deep sleep and a light rapid eye movement (REM) sleep. At the end of the REM portion of our sleep cycle, we naturally wake up briefly. As long as nothing in our environment alarms us, we drift back to sleep.

Around 4 months, most babies no longer need to eat during the night, though they may still enjoy a midnight (or 3AM) snack. Once your pediatrician has advised you that these feedings are no longer necessary, you can start the GoodNight Sleep Method.

Going to sleep is a learned behavior

It’s a commonly held misconception that sleeping is like breathing, something we are born knowing how to do. As a new parent, nobody needs to tell you that’s not true, or at least, not the whole truth. While babies instinctively know how to sleep, they need to learn to fall asleep and establish good sleep patterns. Just as your child must learn to master skills like crawling or walking, they also need to learn to sleep. In fact, it is ironic how much effort is required to “fall” asleep.

Sleep associations are how we learn to sleep

There is some good news here. While there’s not much you can do to teach your baby to crawl or walk, you can teach your child to fall asleep. In fact, each and every time your child goes to sleep, you are giving a lesson in what is necessary for falling asleep. Sleep associations are all the things your child associates with falling asleep. Whether you nurse, rock, or recite poetry in Greek to your child, this is what you are teaching your child is necessary to fall asleep.
There is nothing wrong with sleep associations. Even adults have sleep associations. For example—try to go to sleep without a pillow. Sleep associations only become a problem when they’re not readily available during our regular nighttime wakenings. To use the pillow example, usually you wake briefly during your sleep cycle, roll over and fall back to sleep, and never remember anything. But if somebody snatched your pillow while you were sleeping, the next time you woke up, you’d notice your pillow was missing and would need to look for it before going back to sleep.
Now think of your child’s sleep associations. The way that your child falls asleep when you put him to bed for the night (or even down for a nap), is also what your child will expect when he wakes each time throughout the night. Think back to the pillow example. It’s no wonder your child wakes up crying if he fell asleep in your arms and woke up in a crib or if he dozed off with a bottle and woke up to find it gone. Remember that each time your child falls asleep, he is building a sleep association based on this experience.

Choose the best sleep associations for your child

Sleep associations are very helpful because they help signal to your child that it is time to settle down to sleep. After 9 months in the womb, your child already has some sleep associations. This is why movement (e.g. being rocked), white noise (e.g. riding in a car), and having Mommy or Daddy close by are so successful at lulling babies to sleep. However, all of these sleep associations are outside your child’s control. You can teach your child to associate sleep with new conditions that they can control.

Since your goal is to get your child to fall back to sleep peacefully at each nighttime wakening, try working backwards from here. We’ve found that some sleep associations work really well, while others are to be avoided.
A dark and quiet crib is the best sleep association for an infant. This means that they need to be put to bed while drowsy but awake. A 2004 study commissioned by the National Sleep Foundation found that, on average, children who were put to bed awake slept over an hour more per night than their peers who were put to bed after falling asleep. The study also found that babies who were put to bed while awake were twice as likely to sleep through the night.

For a slightly older infant or toddler, a “lovey”, a special blanket or stuffed animal, that has a familiar smell can help baby feel secure and cozy in bed. Make sure that whatever you choose is safe for infants with no small parts that can fall off and become choking hazards. Also, follow all the guidelines for preventing SIDS and avoid any stuffed animal that can cover a young child’s face. Talk to your pediatrician for more advice on a lovey.

White noise is often an effective sleep association because it reminds babies of their time in the womb. Remember that the white noise needs to be on all night while the baby is asleep. A fan can be great for providing some low volume white noise, plus a recent study shows that using a fan in baby’s room may reduce the risk of SIDS. *

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that parents consider using a pacifier at nap time and bedtime during the first year because pacifier use during sleep is associated with a reduced risk of SIDS. While a pacifier can help an infant settle down to sleep, if you introduce this sleep association now, you will eventually have to break your toddler of this sleep association.

* A study published in the October 2008 issue of Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine found that using a fan cut the risk of SIDS by 72%.

Sleep Association Do’s and Don’ts

Do put your child to bed drowsy but awake in the same place he will spend the night.
Do consider offering your child a “lovey” to make her feel safe and secure in bed, but make sure the lovey is safe for infants with no small parts or long cords and that it cannot cover the child’s face which could increase her risk for SIDS.
Do consider using a pacifier for children under the age of one year.
Do consider running a fan or using some other white noise in your child’s room.
Don’t offer food or drink to your child while he is going to sleep. This can eventually lead to cavities in your child’s teeth. Also, eating when not hungry (just to help to fall asleep) is an unhealthy habit, and perhaps one reason poor sleep habits have been linked to childhood obesity.
Don’t stay in the same room as your child as she falls asleep unless you plan on being present all the time she is asleep for a long time (several years). Remember—your child will expect to find everything the same as when she dozed off every time they wake during their sleep cycle.
Don’t rely on rocking, driving around in the car, or sleeping in a swing. None of these sleep associations are sustainable (unless you’re planning on sending your child on a long space mission) and all are outside your child’s control.

ALWAYS PUT YOUR CHILD TO SLEEP ON THEIR BACK! Putting a child to sleep on their side or stomach increases the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome or SIDS. See the American Academy of Pediatrics website for other SIDS prevention tips.